|
Post by narym on Jan 4, 2008 5:36:41 GMT -5
Have any of you guys made New Year resolutions? And how many of you have broken them straight away?
|
|
cassandra
Participant
Shape-Shifter Clouded Leopard
Posts: 394
|
Post by cassandra on Jan 4, 2008 10:40:42 GMT -5
I made some...broke about 5 of them in one fell convo last evening...but does being sorely provoked count as breaking a resolution? Or just causing you to delay it?
|
|
|
Post by narym on Jan 4, 2008 14:22:49 GMT -5
Ummm, er, hmm, is this a trick question?
|
|
cassandra
Participant
Shape-Shifter Clouded Leopard
Posts: 394
|
Post by cassandra on Jan 4, 2008 16:16:34 GMT -5
Yah...that's what I thought...well..okay then...I made Jan 5 resolutions then...how's that?
|
|
|
Post by Alledyra on Jan 4, 2008 16:33:52 GMT -5
I made New Years resolutions...but I'm tired of making the ones I know for sure I'll break, so I have : 1) Be a better person than I was the previous year. 2) Be a stronger person than I have been recently. 3) Let the little things go... and 4) Focus on family. If I can't do all that...then I'm gonna be really ticked with myself. But if you make a resolution, and you break it that quick....you have to ask...why did you make that one in the first place? Did you really mean it? Or was it a spur of the moment thing that you only hoped you could do. Personally, I prefer Chinese New Year. Wipe away the old slate, and begin anew...on everything. Because if you can do that...it's so much easier to make forward progress.
|
|
cassandra
Participant
Shape-Shifter Clouded Leopard
Posts: 394
|
Post by cassandra on Jan 4, 2008 16:53:29 GMT -5
But Dyra! Yes, I meant it when I made them. I was totally sincere. But see, they were very similar to yours. Be a better person, so far I'm pulling that one off..not that its too hard to be better than I was last year..Do not engage in petty arguments...Do not hold grudges...Do not be deliberately mean to ANYONE...Do not lost your temper....Okay so it was 4 I broke in one convo...but if you'll PM me I'll tell you why...so I think I should just have a delayed starting date and not call them exactly broken...just...kind of...bent a little..
|
|
|
Post by Alledyra on Jan 4, 2008 17:10:17 GMT -5
LOL, well, I gotta admit the last 4 are big. So. Forgiven, and if you were provoked, well then, that makes it a bit more touchy. So I don't think you did anything too bad. Besides...you have the rest of the year, also...and it's not like you can build Rome in a day. So, just keep workin on it, and you'll be fine. LOL. I'd like to see me try that one, "Do not lose your temper"...it'd be funny...like watching a bird swim. Just not possible. he he he. But I'm actually pretty good at it, so when I lose my temper, I get very very proper. And I excel in petty arguments. In fact, I think I sometimes provoke them just to entertain myself...but it's all in good fun. Mostly. He he he. Okay, so I'm evil. I do try not to be deliberately mean, but I also hold grudges...well, sorta. I CAN forgive...but I never, ever forget. So...does that mean I hold grudges? Maybe. I know the ones that I do hold, I have good reason to...But, I gotta tell ya, again...you picked some doozy resolutions. I don't think I'm brave enough to try to change that much all at once. LOL. Anyways, gonna jump around! Talk to ya in a bit!
|
|
|
Post by narym on Jan 5, 2008 4:37:35 GMT -5
Well, because they're so easy to break, I don't make them any more! I just try to learn something from the previous year. But going on to the difference between remembering a bad thing done and holding a grudge, the line is very fine, I think. Something was done to me which affected a member of my family badly. My best friend betrayed my trust and broke a confidence with hurtful results. She believes she did right and would do it again, altho she is sorry for the way she did what she did. Therefore, as far as she's concerned, she requires no forgiveness. I haven't spoken to her for 18 months. Nor do I intend to. I cant deal with the forgiveness bit, because it's not required, if you get me. So I remember. Does that mean I bear a grudge? Then it will be probably only the second one I've born. Sometimes it's actually a burden, but then I remember who it hurt and then the burden becomes easy to bear!
|
|
cassandra
Participant
Shape-Shifter Clouded Leopard
Posts: 394
|
Post by cassandra on Jan 6, 2008 13:12:17 GMT -5
I used to be that way Narym! Still am to a big degree, but I work on it daily!! My advice? Let it go! I'm not saying you have to let her in your life again, but don't keep any negative feelings towards her.
Now, there are people I can't even let myself think about, or else I'll go off in a hating frenzy! But..its really an icky feeling and I'm much happier and healthier now that I force myself to let go of things.
Not always instantly successful. The convo that caused me to lose my composure and break my resolutions still rankles quite a bit...but I force myself to think of it this way:
He really did far more damage to himself that he could ever do to himself, and life will take care of it, I don't have to.
|
|
|
Post by narym on Jan 6, 2008 13:49:50 GMT -5
You're right, of course. I don't hate her. There are times I miss her very much. If what she did had just hurt me, I'd have been over it long ago. But she hurt my son and no one hurts my kids.
Still, life goes on, as they say. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger!
I've been trying to think if I've ever really hated anyone. And all I could come up with was Margaret Thatcher. And I kid you not! The woman was evil.
|
|
|
Post by Alledyra on Jan 6, 2008 19:44:43 GMT -5
I think, I've held two grudges, well, two serious one's anyways. One was towards one of my best friends in high school...and I've long since gotten over that one. We both acted like children, and I know that I regret my actions in that. The second, I have forgiven...but I cannot forget it, and I everytime I go near the person, it colors my view. I try not to let it, but it does, although I love them...I cannot let go of it...perhaps that is because it involves my children, as well...
As for truly hating someone, there's only one thing that I truly, desperately hate. And that's PETA. They are awful...terrible people, and nothing they do will ever be right to me. But again, that involves my children, among many. I don't want to go on a tirade, or I'd tell you some of the things they've done....so, I'll just leave it at that. I hate them, and their means. The end may be something worth working towards, but the means is wrong. And that's that.
|
|
Cassiel
Administrator
By night, one way. By day, another.
Posts: 2,501
|
Post by Cassiel on Jan 6, 2008 23:48:30 GMT -5
Wow, what a heavy discussion. But a good one.
I don't make New Year's resolutions, I never did. I am always trying to better myself (though I don't know how successful I usually am). I am renewing my effort to get into better shape, but that's been going on for awhile now. Again, success has been minimal, which is frustrating.
As far as holding a grudge, I did for a long time. Now the situation only makes me sad, so I try not to think about it. I doesn't come up too often because the person it involves has since moved clear across the country and neither one of us has made any attempt to contact the other. It's for the best.
|
|
|
Post by narym on Jan 10, 2008 6:25:10 GMT -5
PETA? Are they not good people? I don't know much about them, but I thought they helped animals. Are they activists or some such then?
As to forgiveness, I'm not sure I know how to go about forgiving when the person concerned doesn't feel she needs it! But I will let go of it eventually, when the results of her action are finally over!
|
|
Eli
Administrator
A Rebel with a Cause
Posts: 1,778
|
Post by Eli on Jan 10, 2008 16:26:59 GMT -5
PETA's ends do not justify their means. They are activists in a way, more like extremists. Some of them will literally deny human rights to allow animal rights. Some of them aren't below assault and battery for a perceived or real wrong against animals, no matter the situation. Some believe animals have more right than humans, or are above humans. So not too many people have respect for PETA, even though some members have their heads in place.
|
|
|
Post by narym on Jan 10, 2008 18:03:00 GMT -5
We have an animal rights activist group here, that behave in the same way. The most recent atrocity was to dig up the body of a lady once connected to animal experimentation. They then held her body to ransome! I don't believe these people really care for animals. They're just using that as a cover for creating havoc. Like football hooligans.
|
|