Post by drake on Feb 10, 2005 22:10:32 GMT -5
Just a little something I wrote:
Murderer
I was in love at 18
In love with the best girl in the world
All my life, my hopes, and my dreams
Revolved around her wishes
She was my life
But unfortunately, I wasn’t hers
If I had known then what I know now
I never would have given her my trust
She hurt me twice
And I endured it both times
I always thought, foolishly
That she would apologize; that she would make up for it
That she would, could, learn to love me as I did her
But the third time I couldn’t take it
And I made a mistake
One which would cost me dearly
First was at a party
Surrounded by guests
We had an argument in the back
Which she took to heart
After the fight, she told the whole party
Something that I took as nothing but anger
Spewing from her mouth
She told them she was sleeping with someone else
For the sole reason of hurting me
It worked well; too well, as I stormed out
Vowing never to speak to her again
But love doesn’t die that easily
As it hadn’t even been a fortnight
When I went crawling back to her
Begging for forgiveness
“It was all my fault.” I cried to her.
“It’ll never happen again.”<br>She took me into her arms, and I thought all was well
As I think back on it now
There was probably an evil grin on her face
The second time was on the phone
This time there was no provocation
We’re having a conversation
And she blurts out, out of the blue
“I really am cheating on you, you know.”<br>I stared at the phone
For about ten minutes
Hoping beyond hope that I
Hadn’t heard what I heard
I tried to come up
With something good to say
Anything which could completely convey
My then-current feelings
All that came out was a
Very timid and meek, “Why?”
My heart fell as I heard her laugh
The laugh that sounded like cannon fire
Before she told me that I was the reason
She told me that I caused her to cheat on me
She didn’t want nice; she didn't want gentle
She wanted a someone else; a bad boy
Someone I could never hope to be
The conversation ended with another laugh from her
Before the dull, empty click as the phone was hung up
For the second time that day
I stared at the phone
Wondering what went wrong
I knew that I could never be a bad boy
Yet for some unknown reason, I called her
I told her that I’d change
I’d become a bad boy for her
There was a silence
As if she was contemplating my declaration
Before she finally sighed and said “Fine.”<br>My heart leaped from my chest when she told me to come over
I immediately threw on what bad boy clothes I could find
And rushed right over
As I pulled up in front of her house
Nothing on God’s green Earth could prepare me
For the next five minutes of my life
I tried the doorknob and was surprised
To find that it was left unlocked
She never left her door unlocked
Maybe this was a sign
That things would be better between us now
When I walked in, my nostrils were immediately struck
Struck by an aroma they had never smelled before
It wasn’t a bad smell, but simply unusual
Emanating from her upstairs bedroom
Faint sounds drifted from the slightly ajar door
A certain thought floated through my head
I tried to push it out, but the effort was in vain
I knew what I had walked into
But I forced myself to go upstairs and see it for myself
I silently crept up the stairway
Dreading each further step
‘Til I came to my destination
I looked back at the stairs, mentally making myself
Not flee back down and out of the house
Instead I pushed open the door
And in that instant, all my fears were realized
There they were, on the bed
Consummating what was supposed to be OUR love
She heard the door open and looked straight at me
As did her mate
I was dumbstruck; I could do nothing
But close the door and stare at it
I thought back to everything that happened since I came here
The door being unlocked was no coincidence
She wanted me to get in here and catch her
The smell that got stronger as I neared the bedroom
I hadn’t smelled it before because I was saving myself
Saving my innocence for her
The sounds, the thoughts in my head, they all made sense
My eyes started to tear up
As I realized that I still
Couldn’t bring myself to hate her
If I had left at that moment, my life would still be intact
But I opened the door again
And was just in time to hear
The culmination of their act
They finished and both turned and grinned at me
A cocky, arrogant, mocking grin
Confirming that they had planned this from the start
With that, I snapped and threw eighteen years down the drain
I grabbed what was closest to me; a lamp
And rushed in with it
When I reached the bed
I hit both of them, over and over
They were still in the afterglow
And too tired to do anything to defend themselves
When I stopped and saw what I had done
The animal that came over me
Immediately fled my body and I dropped the lamp
As I looked at their bloody bodies
Laying there on the bed, still intertwined
I finally started to sob openly
They only had the energy to scream
As they were beaten to death by a vengeful lover
I slumped down by the bed and wept
I wept because I had killed the one I loved
I wept because I had finally become a bad boy
But couldn’t even feel happy about it
I wept because I knew I had no more life
I was just as dead as the two on the bed
My life had no more meaning; no more purpose
However, I chiefly wept because I had finally realized
That I wasn’t the only murderer in this house
She had killed my heart
She had killed my soul
And she had killed my spirit
Forcing me to become something that I wasn’t
Forcing me to destroy my own life
Murderer
I was in love at 18
In love with the best girl in the world
All my life, my hopes, and my dreams
Revolved around her wishes
She was my life
But unfortunately, I wasn’t hers
If I had known then what I know now
I never would have given her my trust
She hurt me twice
And I endured it both times
I always thought, foolishly
That she would apologize; that she would make up for it
That she would, could, learn to love me as I did her
But the third time I couldn’t take it
And I made a mistake
One which would cost me dearly
First was at a party
Surrounded by guests
We had an argument in the back
Which she took to heart
After the fight, she told the whole party
Something that I took as nothing but anger
Spewing from her mouth
She told them she was sleeping with someone else
For the sole reason of hurting me
It worked well; too well, as I stormed out
Vowing never to speak to her again
But love doesn’t die that easily
As it hadn’t even been a fortnight
When I went crawling back to her
Begging for forgiveness
“It was all my fault.” I cried to her.
“It’ll never happen again.”<br>She took me into her arms, and I thought all was well
As I think back on it now
There was probably an evil grin on her face
The second time was on the phone
This time there was no provocation
We’re having a conversation
And she blurts out, out of the blue
“I really am cheating on you, you know.”<br>I stared at the phone
For about ten minutes
Hoping beyond hope that I
Hadn’t heard what I heard
I tried to come up
With something good to say
Anything which could completely convey
My then-current feelings
All that came out was a
Very timid and meek, “Why?”
My heart fell as I heard her laugh
The laugh that sounded like cannon fire
Before she told me that I was the reason
She told me that I caused her to cheat on me
She didn’t want nice; she didn't want gentle
She wanted a someone else; a bad boy
Someone I could never hope to be
The conversation ended with another laugh from her
Before the dull, empty click as the phone was hung up
For the second time that day
I stared at the phone
Wondering what went wrong
I knew that I could never be a bad boy
Yet for some unknown reason, I called her
I told her that I’d change
I’d become a bad boy for her
There was a silence
As if she was contemplating my declaration
Before she finally sighed and said “Fine.”<br>My heart leaped from my chest when she told me to come over
I immediately threw on what bad boy clothes I could find
And rushed right over
As I pulled up in front of her house
Nothing on God’s green Earth could prepare me
For the next five minutes of my life
I tried the doorknob and was surprised
To find that it was left unlocked
She never left her door unlocked
Maybe this was a sign
That things would be better between us now
When I walked in, my nostrils were immediately struck
Struck by an aroma they had never smelled before
It wasn’t a bad smell, but simply unusual
Emanating from her upstairs bedroom
Faint sounds drifted from the slightly ajar door
A certain thought floated through my head
I tried to push it out, but the effort was in vain
I knew what I had walked into
But I forced myself to go upstairs and see it for myself
I silently crept up the stairway
Dreading each further step
‘Til I came to my destination
I looked back at the stairs, mentally making myself
Not flee back down and out of the house
Instead I pushed open the door
And in that instant, all my fears were realized
There they were, on the bed
Consummating what was supposed to be OUR love
She heard the door open and looked straight at me
As did her mate
I was dumbstruck; I could do nothing
But close the door and stare at it
I thought back to everything that happened since I came here
The door being unlocked was no coincidence
She wanted me to get in here and catch her
The smell that got stronger as I neared the bedroom
I hadn’t smelled it before because I was saving myself
Saving my innocence for her
The sounds, the thoughts in my head, they all made sense
My eyes started to tear up
As I realized that I still
Couldn’t bring myself to hate her
If I had left at that moment, my life would still be intact
But I opened the door again
And was just in time to hear
The culmination of their act
They finished and both turned and grinned at me
A cocky, arrogant, mocking grin
Confirming that they had planned this from the start
With that, I snapped and threw eighteen years down the drain
I grabbed what was closest to me; a lamp
And rushed in with it
When I reached the bed
I hit both of them, over and over
They were still in the afterglow
And too tired to do anything to defend themselves
When I stopped and saw what I had done
The animal that came over me
Immediately fled my body and I dropped the lamp
As I looked at their bloody bodies
Laying there on the bed, still intertwined
I finally started to sob openly
They only had the energy to scream
As they were beaten to death by a vengeful lover
I slumped down by the bed and wept
I wept because I had killed the one I loved
I wept because I had finally become a bad boy
But couldn’t even feel happy about it
I wept because I knew I had no more life
I was just as dead as the two on the bed
My life had no more meaning; no more purpose
However, I chiefly wept because I had finally realized
That I wasn’t the only murderer in this house
She had killed my heart
She had killed my soul
And she had killed my spirit
Forcing me to become something that I wasn’t
Forcing me to destroy my own life
[/glow]
